The First Year Of Marriage : What I’ve Learned
9.24.12
It’s been a year since I tied the knot. So, what have I learned? Nothing! {Kidding}. Click below to read the full scoop on what I’ve learned in my first year after saying “I Do.”
1. Nothing is different {except everything is different}: My brother advised me time and time again that marriage doesn’t really change anything. So if you are happy on a day to day basis in your relationship, then it’s going to be exactly the same when you’re married. He was definitely right, to an extent. Marriage didn’t change anything between Grant and I but it changed everything because it meant that my world would forever be intertwined with his. Marriage changes everything because it’s the real deal, the créme de la créme and it’s the center of my universe.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff: So he left the toilet seat up {again}, he plays golf too much and maybe doesn’t brush his teeth every night . . . in the grand scheme of things who really cares!? Are you going to break up over it? {No} Are you going to make him sleep on the couch because he has bad breath? {No} This year I’ve learned the art of letting go of small {stupid} things that tick me off. And I’ll tell you what, we hardly ever fight because nothing is worth it anymore.
3. Share experiences: He loves Golf. I love Fashion. He likes to stay current on real estate and listen to Howard Stern. I like to stay current on Pinterest and listen to seminars about blogging. We have our separate interests, which is uber important, but what’s equally important is sharing experiences together. We love travel, date nights and morning dance offs in front of the dogs. Intertwining your life experiences with each other is what keeps the conversations flowing over a glass of wine.
4. You are a family now: This is probably the weirdest feeling since being married. Grant is my family now. No I didn’t write off the rest of my family {never!} but Grant is really the #1 person who I have to make decisions with, plan with and share everything with. This was a touch hard for me and believe me, I still call my Mom & Dad for everything, but Grant and the pups and I make our own little family unit. It’s a pretty incredible thing.
5. Always talk {about money}: Talk. Talk. Talk. I say talk.talk.talk about money because it’s always a sore subject. Before marriage I didn’t have to talk with anyone about money other than myself {and it was a pretty short conversation in my head}. Having to answer questions about why I chose to spend $2k on a bag isn’t the funnest experience in the world. But the more open we are about our spending and the more frequent we talk about it, the less stress that we feel from it. Whether I like it or not, our money is now shared so we have to share why we spend $$$ on things with each other too.
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Comments
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Really sweet post and I couldn’t agree more on every point! Happy First Anniversary, congratulations
xo K -
I LOVE this!!! I think your note about the talking about money is majorly important. My fiancee and I are already trying to keep it all very open. And yes, what a beautiful family unit. Congrats!
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I could not agree more with everything you’ve just said. Happy Anniversary!
xx Amy
Leopard and Lillies -
Meagan S says:
I thought this was a really great post and dead on. With the last point (talking about money) my husband and I have a detailed budget that includes allowances for both of us- so we have completely eliminated the whole arguing-about-money issue. He can spend his allowance on whatever he wants (and vice versa) and it makes NO difference to either of us. I have no clue why more couples don’t do a budget.
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Oh my god I love this! I have been married a year now too and I agree with a lot of things you have mentioned here. Marriage didn’t change much because we lived together before so of course I already know how he squeezes his toothpaste out of the tube, haha you know what I mean, but it changes things because now we really have to consult each other before making any decision big or small, like our social plans, what to do with our money, how to respond to emails from our family members, and how many dogs/kids we’re going to have! The list goes on. I love discussing the topic of marriage and I’m glad you brought it up on your fashion blog. Thanks Jacey!
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CC says:
Congrats to both of you! Absolutely wonderful post. And the best part?? You are only beginning your journey together
Cheers -
Love this post its so true! My one year is next month. The thing that my husband have argued about our whole relationship is money. He is a saver I am a spender. I have not always been honest about how much money I have spent on clothes or how much I had in my savings. But now we are married he wants to know everything which is fair as it is our money now. Just means I have to be more conservative. Some times I feel bit like why can’t I buy that top but I know in the end it will be worth it!
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Thank you so much for this honest and open post! Great advice. Happy anniversary to you and your husband and I look forward to another Lessons Learned post next year!
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This is an awesome post and I couldn’t agree with you more! I recently got married (June 2012) and I can totally relate to #1! Congrats on your anniversary! Cheers!
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Jennie says:
Love this post so much!! It was great meeting you and Grant this weekend at Gloria and MG’s wedding!
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Jacey says:
Aww Jennie it was so great meeting you as well!!! XX
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I think all of these rules are important. Do you find the 1st year of marriage to be dificult or breeze by? I’ve heard that both the 2nd year and the 7th year are hard…to me, it’s all been challenging based on the fact we had children soon after and have moved several times (as well as changed jobs). Stressful! But wonderful. Thanks for posting.
-Brittany
BLOG: http://suburbchicblog.blogspot.com
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/suburbchicblog-
Hi Brittany ~
For us it FLEWWWWW by and it was pretty breezy! I really feel like we’re just getting settled in. I’m sure moving & children can definitely add some stress! We’re child free at the moment {aside from our bulldogs} however our recent move caused a few minor hiccups. I’m sure now that you’re settling in to your new roles as parents and new home and job that things will iron out nicely. Wishing you all the best & thanks for stopping by! XX
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Stefani says:
i love this! Happy Anniversary!
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Happy Anniversary Jacey! Your wedding still goes down as one of the most beautiful ever!! Great post
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such a sweet post…and so relevant! I’m going to be celebrating my first year with my hubby next month and it’s amazing how fast time has flown by! =D
Congrats to you and your man/family/love! =)
xo,
nancy -
Jessica Pyles Torres says:
Well said Jacey.. Congrats on your one year and Ya’ll will have many many more..
Love,
Jessica Pyles Torres -
Deanna says:
Happy one year!
you two make a beautiful couple. I LOVE the very first photo, the one of you two on elephants, and of course, the one with your two “babies”! -
Great advice. And congrats on hitting the year mark! So true about the money stuff. That was (and still is) the biggest adjustment for me.
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I’m getting married in November so this was great for me to read so I can have some advice going in to it. Congrats on one year!
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I really enjoyed this. Your honesty and genuine, down to earth attitude is so refreshing. You’re a great example of how to be a wife!
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Thank you so much! XX
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This is such a celebratory, but also I-learned-a-few-tricks post, what a great way to commemorate a year’s success. As a young woman navigating through serious bf territory, you brought up so many salient tidbits that delighted, but did not glorify the state of modern marriage. Thanks! I loved!
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Sophia says:
Happy anniversary! Great advice
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this is the sweetest post ever – so darling! love all your fun pictures – happy anniversary to you guys!
kiley
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Love this post! Even though I’m not married yet, I hope to be soon so I was taking notes! I’m so glad that you mentioned talking about money! This is one area I dread having a conversation about because I’m not sure any man could understand our compulsive need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on fashion.
Emily
via Emily -
jane says:
My favorite post!
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How amazing is this post! How amazing is your blog!! Love your tips, they are spot on. I have been with my love for 8 years and we learned all those things and more at about the 2 year mark. Enjoy your love.
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Thank you so much Roxy! X
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Lea says:
Absolutely loved this post…I hardly ever feel that they are honest and real but I felt yours is. Congrats!
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I love it Jacey…so try in every way.